You went to film school; what movie do you rewatch or return to most?

This would not be an answer that my film school would respect, or expect: White Chicks by the Wayans brothers. It’s about two brothers who are pretending to be rich white girls from the Hamptons. I love when something’s super stupid and silly, and there’s a scene where this group of [white] girls is in the car singing, and the two brothers have to pretend to know Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles, and I was like, “Oh my god, I’ve been there!”

I think I was 16 when I watched it for the first time, and I finally knew enough English and also slang, and it also had physical humour, which I grew up watching a lot in Japan. So it was the perfect blend of “Oh, I’m an Asian American now”.

What’s the strangest job you’ve ever had?

I used to walk dogs in LA, and there’s a bad Yelp review about me, saying that I only walked Charlie the terrier mix for 10 minutes instead of the full 30. And I did do that. But it was a rainy day and the dog didn’t want to keep walking, and it was shaking, so I brought it back to the house. But turns out the owner of the dog had a friend spying on me and timing me from the moment I let the dog out and back in. I guess it’s not a weird job, but it’s a memorable one.

What’s the best thing you learned from someone you worked with?

Chelsea Handler is a good friend of mine, and she says about jealousy: just keep in mind that there is room for everyone. You may go, “I wanted first place, like that person”. But you have a role in life in whatever field you’re in. So never compare yourself to others – we’re all made so different.

What’s the most chaotic thing that’s happened to you on stage?

I was doing a stand-up set in Pasadena [California] and a 7.1 magnitude earthquake hit as I was walking on stage. You can see it on YouTube. I was freaked out because I have no skills to help in an earthquake. I went to art school! But I am quick on my feet, I’m funny, and I do care about people. I think having a mom with schizophrenia, and living in the US as an undocumented migrant for seven years – I was like, I can deal with anything. What’s a 7.1 earthquake? This is like the chillest heckler in my life.

When you get to a hotel, what’s the first thing you do?

Every time, I’m genuinely so stoked that I’m not in my house, in my mess. Thank goodness I’m away from my dishes, I’m away from my dirty underwear. I only have clean ones because that’s all I brought.

Is there anything you do to make it feel like home?

Oh no, I never really feel at home anywhere. Even in my own home, sometimes I feel like a stranger. Maybe it’s because I moved around a lot as a kid – I still don’t settle down easily. I’m always like, “Gotta be ready to leave at any point!” Maybe it’s from being undocumented for so long? Or living in a garage for seven years. But I’m always like, we’re gonna get kicked out soon, somehow!

What video is guaranteed to make you laugh?

There’s this video a woman made for her husband, pointing out all the messes he’s made around the house – using a stick with a tiny hand with a pointing index finger. And she does it really aggressively sometimes. It makes me laugh so hard.

What’s been your most memorable interaction with a fan?

A couple of people have cut their hair to look like mine, which is a huge commitment. There was another fan who came to my show wearing a wig of my bowl cut. Her name was Atsuko too. She said, “People used to have a hard time pronouncing my name, and it was always an insecurity of mine – I even wanted to change my name at one point in my life. But because of you, people are able to say my name, and I feel less alone and more seen because of it.” That was cool.

What are you secretly really good at?

I’m really good at physical therapy, especially for senior citizens. Like, if my grandma’s knees are hurting or my mom’s knees are hurting, I know the right exercise to strengthen the muscles around there. I think it’s from my days teaching dance fitness. I got really into fitness in junior high, and studied it a lot on my own – and I was a cheerleader too. So I know how to rehabilitate if someone’s injured.

If you had to appear on a reality TV show, which one would it be?

I want to go on one of the love shows, even though I’m married. Maybe me and my husband could do it. They’ve never had a married couple on Love Island, and they need antagonists, they need villains.

You seem very wholesome; I’m not confident you’d be a great villain …

Well, thank you. I do tend to be positive. But there’s a surprising edge to me. I think people think I’m more wholesome than I am.

If you could plan a fantasy dinner party of people – living or dead, real or fictional – who’s on your list?

Lucille Ball, Stitch [from Lilo and Stitch]. Charlie Chaplin. I want to meet Hachiko, the akita dog that everyone in Japan loves because he loyally waited for his owner at the same train station for years. Maybe Sia, because I’m friends with Kathy Griffin, and she’s really close to her, and so Sia and I see each other sometimes, and I want to invite someone I don’t usually see. And Paddington [Bear].

What a totally normal, natural mix of guests.

I don’t know. I feel like fights will break out. Maybe put Mary, Jesus’s mother, in there too. I have questions.

What would you ask her?

Any regrets?