They’re back! Harry and Meghan’s quiet return to England this week, via Birmingham airport, was much anticipated but scarcely celebrated – no bunting or street parties.

So far there are many questions but very few answers: not just “why return now?” and “why so suddenly?”, but also questions of security: who pays if not themselves, given that they are not working royals? And where will the money come from to keep them in the style to which they are accustomed?

The bills are mounting: not just the Daily Mail’s legal costs incurred by Harry’s ill-fated court action, but even the upkeep of their nine-bedroom Montecito mansion, which, with property taxes, mortgage and upkeep (including looking after their chickens), could cost about $80,000 (£60,000) a month. That’s to say nothing about the house in Portugal. Meghan will have to get some pretty meaty and regular acting jobs – and fast.

Maybe all will be well, they will readjust to British life and Britain will readjust to them, but on past experience this seems highly unlikely. Can they avert it? Here are five tips that might help.

1. Find capable advisers. Not necessarily the pin-striped courtiers who serve at the palace and know a great deal but whom Harry hated, nor the subversives like Mark Bolland, the PR guru, who once advised Charles as prince and seems to have initiated rows with half the rest of the family. Young smart-alec briefers are not required, nor perhaps Americans who don’t have a feel for Britain and its generally pro-royalist population. There are considerable bridges to be rebuilt with the people who feel Harry and Meghan let them down, and especially with the rest of the royal family. The couple need careful guidance over how they should present themselves, when they should speak and what they should say – or not say. No more interviews with Oprah Winfrey slagging off the relatives. It makes a splash, but thereafter, it doesn’t exactly help.

2. Make peace again with the family, especially William and Catherine. It may be difficult and arduous to restore trust, but they need to do that as quickly as possible. And no setting up a rival court: they must know by now the obligation to choose discreet friends wisely.

3. Help out a bit. Not necessarily with the washing-up but with attendance at public events, visits and charities. Not by freeloading, the public hates that, but by generally doing good – not for a few minutes or a day or two between flips to California, but regularly and humbly.

4. Breathe deeply and make nice with the media – and not just the networks that have previously been prepared to pay them mega money. Wiser members of the royal family face challenges too, but they know that they need the so-called dead tree media, including newspapers, for their popularity. A smile goes further than a snarl. Remember that you need them more than they need you – they have businesses to run, you have a public perception to shape via their products. If they stop reporting on the royals or all the coverage is negative, the institution’s days of crisis will never end.

Think hard about what to communicate and what you try to keep secret. The “secret” – private – christening of Archie was unnecessary as was William’s attempt to hide the name of a family dog from an avid press and public. The media will always ferret even more important things out – such as their new home and the children’s school (especially if, as reported, Harry wants to watch young Archie play rugby every Saturday) and a defensive, sneering approach gains nothing. It just makes ever-fragile media/royal relations even worse. Better to be as open as possible and broker an arrangement for the media to thereafter leave Archie and Lilibet alone – it has worked for William and Catherine’s children. Harry and Meghan must face up to the fact they will always be newsworthy and isn’t that partly what they want to publicise their ventures?

5. Above all, smile, for God’s sake. Harry and Meghan are both in a very privileged position. People won’t like it if they appear to despise or patronise them, or to feel too sorry for themselves. They have the opportunity to be identified with the great cause of cheering people up. Cometh the hour … perhaps.