Key events

Ali Martin
The history of Test cricket between England and Pakistan stretches back to 1954 and has been a vibrant one over the years. Yet, for all the memorable battles, plus the cultural ties between the two countries and a fair bit of scandal along the way, a trophy that denotes the rivalry is still to be created.
England lost the Crowe-Thorpe trophy to New Zealand this summer, will look to retain the Basil D’Oliveira trophy in South Africa this winter, and hope they can win back the Ashes next year. Trophies for encounters with India and West Indies go back so far they have been retired and replaced by new ones in recent times.
But aside from the Benaud‑Qadir trophy, inaugurated when Australia visited in 2022, Test series involving Pakistan simply have whatever cup the sponsor at the time commissions. When England were last in Pakistan, for example, they watched their hosts lift the Bank Alfalah presents Kingdom Valley trophy.
Until something more meaningful is devised, perhaps the series should be known as “El Dysfunctiono”. Admittedly it sounds like something Pelé raised awareness about back in the day. But given the two teams involved – both capable of self‑sabotage that drives supporters up the wall – it kind of works. That it gets under way at Headingley, home to English cricket’s most volatile county, is also fitting.
“Morning, Rob,” says Richard O’Hagan. “I don’t know if you were aware, but Darren Stevens is now captain of England Over-40s. Finally getting the international recognition many thought he deserved at a younger age.
“Admittedly it probably isn’t as impressive as Nigel Martyn being the wicketkeeper for England Over-60s, but it’s still an achievement.”
In less exciting news, I’ve been training with Whitstable FC’s over-60s football team. I was asked the other day whether I might be interested in playing for the actual team. I sadly pointed out that, though I look 97, I won’t be eligible for another decade.
In other news, whoever invented walking sport should be knighted. Opta and CricViz don’t keep such data, but I’d bet that person has saved thousands of lives.
Team news
England’s team is as expected, with four quality right-arm seamers – it’s a more varied attack than that suggests – and the occasional spin of Dan Lawrence.
Babar Azam is out with a finger injury, so Salman Ali Agha will captain Pakistan. Saud Shakeel comes into the middle order.
England Duckett, Gay, Cox, Root (c), Brook, Lawrence, Smith (wk), Robinson, Atkinson, Archer, Tongue.
Pakistan Awais, Imam-ul-Haq, Masood, Shafique, Shakeel, Rizwan (wk), Ali Agha, Usman, Shahzad, Ali, Abbas.
England win the toss and bowl
Ollie Robinson’s lips will not be dry at the prospect.
Heatwave my arse! It’s a brisk 18 degrees at Headingley, with a chance of showers later in the day. We should stress this is a meteorological term, not a comment on England being a shower of the absolute variety.
Preamble
And now for something completely different. A new era starts at Headingley today, one in which England will play sober, wiser cricket. Some will say this is all tish and fipsy, that Joe Root and Stephen Fleming’s England won’t be that different to Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum’s team. They’d be right, but a) John Cleese never uttered the phrase “and now for something partially different” and b) the branding and image of Root’s team, the thing that really matters in modern life, will be completely different.
Bazball was christened before it had even been born; Cricinfo’s Andrew Miller intuitively sensed what was about to happen and coined the phrase a few days before England’s first Test against New Zealand four years ago. No equivalent sobriquet has been forthcoming this time, and not only because Flemball sounds like an issue for your friendly local pharmacist rather than the cricket cognoscenti.
Fleming doesn’t officially start as coach until the winter, so Root and Marcus Trescothick will be in charge for the three-match series against Pakistan. On paper it’s the softest of landings against arguably the weakest Pakistan side in decades. That team still managed to beat England in 2024-25, aided by some fine spin bowling and a few industrial-strength heaters, but their away form puts the LL in appalling. A win in Trinidad earlier this month ended a run of eight straight defeats.
Pakistan can still trouble England, particularly when Mohammad Ali and the peerless Mohammad Abbas are wobbling the ball at 77mph with the keeper up to the stumps. (As regular readers will know, the OBO loves Rob Key, but the poor guy’s life has turned into a horror film called Night of the Living Dobbers, in which he is barricaded in a farmhouse surrounded by zombiefied incarnations of Michael Neser, Matt Henry, Scott Boland, Nathan Smith and, most terrifyingly of all, Darren Stevens.)
Abbas and Ali should induce at least one middle-order shemozzle over the next few weeks. Even so, it’ll be a surprise if England don’t win this series 3-0 and a major shock if they don’t win it at all.
The fixture list gets bloody difficult after this – South Africa away, Bangladesh away and at home, Australia away and at home, India away – so England could do with a nice, quiet, peaceful series. The sort they always have against Pakistan.
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